Wednesday, 19Mar03, 1:10PM PST, Evidence Class
Hi Cutie Pie. Damn it’s hard to sit still. I want to know what’s going on. Where are you and what are you doing? This is tough. Today I sent out an email asking people again to pray for you. I am going to print out peoples’ replies to that so you can read them. It’s cool. Today I don’t know what to say. It’s that kind of day. I pray for you every day.
Fuck. It’s like 1:15- 3 hours and 45 minutes left until the deadline. Ok, it’s ok- this means you’ll be home soon. SOON! That is so cool!
Let me tell you how the news is. You hear one report and you’re really happy and hopeful. You hear the next, and you’re scared to death. And so my 49 days have gone. Especially the past two or three.
I wish I could talk to you. I know I can’t until your job is done. I am so proud of you.
Here everyone is pulling for you guys. Even people against the war are behind the troops. You have so much support. I love you so much. ____ loves you and so does our baby. You have a daughter. Woo hoo! That’s what you’ve wanted! I wonder if she’ll be like me…a big pain in your ass…haha. Damn…haha.
Tonight someone gets voted off “American Idol”. I’d tell you more about it but you don’t know the contestant except that Marine and he did a good job- he’s not going to get kicked off this week.
I went to the doctor yesterday. Heard ____’s little heartbeat. He said she’s transverse but it doesn’t matter cause I’m having a c-section. Also, she moves a lot so they know she’s fine. I want you to see and feel my stomach moving. You will. Woo hoo!!!
Let me tell you how crazy I am- I was tempted to start emailing people who piss me off a quick “fuck you.” Haha! I had to hold myself back. Instead I wrote the prayer request to everyone. Better route, huh? Oh and I have a yellow ribbon in my bio/profile on The Knot now. Yay! I love you! I love you!
I hope I get mail from you today. I got three on Monday! Yay! I love it. I told your mom I’ve gotten 16 letters from you and she said, “Wow, he must really love you a lot.” Yeah! Ya do! We are going to have the greatest and strongest marriage ever!
I’m so glad you’re staying close to God. I ask Him every night to stay close to you, comfort you, and bring you home safely.
It’s going to be crazy when Bush speaks again. I wonder when that will be. It could be tonight. See this letter sucks. I’m too somber to even be normal.
Today I’m wearing an old maternity shirt I wore with ____. It stinks, I didn’t realize it smells like baby formula. Ugh!
That lady Karen invited us to dinner at her house again next weekend. I’ll probably go because we had a good time last time.
I adore you my ____y Boy. There is a song from church that says that God knows our name, sees each tear that falls and hears us when we call.
I am so wound up. Anticipation, fear, waiting- all the things I’m sure you’re going through. I tried to look up your unit to see if you’re headed toward the border. They didn’t say. On the Internet I’ve found sites that have mentioned units by name, like 101st Airborne and 82nd, but I didn’t see you. Actually, Oliver North is with the Marines that parachute in. I know that’s not you guys though. Maybe you’re not headed in yet??? I hope.
I’m looking at my beautiful ring. I love that you have yours too. That is so cool. We were playing with the ____ action figure last night. Lol. He’s a Corpsman. He sits on the sidelines while the other action figures fight. ___ says that ___ can’t help the bad guys, just the good. It’s awesome! He’s HM3 Action Figure!
Damn Corporations class is next. Yuck. Soon it will be April. Wow! Time does keep on going, doesn’t it? Strange.
I wonder if…there’s any way…you could be home by Easter?!?! April 20??? Hmmm…That would be day 79…32 days from now…MAYBE! MAYBE! MAYBE! Last year was great. We went to San Diego over Easter weekend, remember? We stayed at the Doubletree and discovered Trophy’s. Yum! Then church on Easter. It was awesome!
Oh I just love you so much. So many great things. I miss you. Life sucks without you here. Totally.
Donna wants to babysit on my b-day so we can do something! Know you’ll be back by then since it’s not until July. That would be cool! What do you want to do? It’s on a Monday so maybe that weekend before we can. The baby will be too young to leave her with anyone though. Maybe we could stay home and do something romantic…what is your opinion? I’ll still be in BAD shape. My staples might even still be in. EWW. The baby will only be a week old. Aww. How cute! Maybe we can order food and cake and get a movie. You know what? I don’t give a rat WHAT we do, as long as we’re together. That is all that’s important anymore. Being together. It is sooo special. Wow, it is SOOOOOOO special! I ADORE you! My husband. My dear, sweet, beautiful, husband. My perfect husband.
Yay! I’m so glad we talked on the 1st. that was such an awesome thing. We got to talk for an hour- so great. We talked as if we were always talking. You know what I mean? It was great.
At 5 PM, the 48 hours are up. Man. I talk too much. Haha. No big baby kicks today, just movement. ____ drew a really cute picture of Bozo. I like your thought of him protecting us. That’s so cool. I really like that. Poor doggie.
I can’t wait to see you again. Wow…that will be SO great. SO perfect. SO joyous. I can’t wait! I’m going to go insane. INSANE!!!
Love, Your Lovey Love, Your Wife Forever,
The Shell on the corner is now at $2.24, can you believe it?
At 5PM Pacific Standard time, the 48 hours Bush had given Saddam Hussein had expired. At about 6:30 PM, about 40 Tomahawk cruise missiles and F-117 stealth fighters begin dropping bombs against a "target of opportunity" near Baghdad, believed to include high-ranking Iraqi leaders.
The war had begun.
I’m sitting in my usual seat, on the big couch in my living room, with CNN blaring, and am online. It’s the same thing I do every night. Tonight is wrought with extra fear and anticipation pending Bush’s deadline, and now I’m keeping an extra-keen eye on the television. It cuts to Baghdad- to a very dark, greenish, grainy picture of war. Bombs going off. Life stops. War.
“Oh my God! It started!” I cry, a high-pitched and hysterical cry. I pick up the phone and call my parents.
“It started! It started!” By now I’m crying hysterically.
“What? No it didn’t. Not yet. Where did you see this?” Asks my father. “We’re
watching MSNBC. Nothing has happened”, he says.”
“Turn on CNN!”
“Oh, okay. I see. Well, we knew it was going to start. So let’s hope and pray it’s quick and easy for them. That’s all we can do. Okay?” He sounds somber, steady, and calm. He is trying to keep me level.
_____ ambles and looks at the TV. “Don’t worry mom. ____’s team will win.” How precious. I break into more tears and utter something back to him. I tell him we should light a candle outside on the balcony so we do so. It such a surreal and powerless moment that just seems like the thing to do- maybe the only thing we can do right then to show some form of expression.
My mom calls right back and tries to console me.
“Let’s just keep praying for ____y.”, her voice is filled with tears, “and all of our boys and girls who are over there. God bless them all.”
“Yeah.” I am not showing my feelings to her. I don’t feel like gushing to her at the moment and I want to get off the phone.
“Okay honey. Call back if you need anything.”
I try to chat online with my online friends for a bit and we console each other as much as is possible. It is absolutely chilling.